By Whitney L. Snowden
Self-talk. It sounds simple but it’s actually quite complex—and powerful. Self-talk combines your conscious thoughts with your unconscious beliefs and biases about situations you experience. This “dialogue” begins during the toddler years of development as babbling. As a child grows older, self-talk quickly becomes internal, as the voice inside your head. Because of this shift, self-talk can be challenging to monitor and can easily become unproductive.
Self-talk has 4 different functions: criticism, reinforcement, management, and social evaluations. Kids mainly use self-talk for management and reinforcement purposes, to help them follow through with tasks and build confidence. Teens tend to use self-talk more in social situations at school, with friends, and to compare their lives to the world around them. At any age, learning to “talk back” to negative thoughts is very helpful in keeping perspective on your thoughts and finding solutions to day-to-day stressors.
The following plan to identify, assess, and change unproductive self-talk was originally developed to decrease stress in college athletes. But anyone can benefit from practicing the 5 Cs: catch it, control it, challenge it, change it, and cherish it. The benefits include less stress and anxiety, more mental clarity about complex situations, and an overall improved well-being. So the next time you feel your thoughts shifting to an unproductive state, try running through the 5 Cs.
The 5 Cs of talking back to unproductive thinking
- Catch it. Notice when you’re having unproductive thoughts. Ask yourself which of the 4 functions of self-talk are most at play during this time: criticism, reinforcement, management, or social assessment? Are you critiquing yourself? “I’m the worst at this” Are you telling yourself what to do or what you should be doing? “I need to focus on the task at hand.” Or are you talking about people in your head? “Why can’t she just tell me what’s bothering her?”
- Control it. When an unproductive thought crosses your mind, talk back to it! You can use simple phrases like “stop” or “I have the power to control my thinking.” By interrupting unproductive thoughts, you bring awareness to what’s happening internally. This awareness is powerful in helping shift your mindset to a more productive state.
- Challenge it. Challenge what you’re saying to yourself. Is what you’re thinking helpful? Is it truthful? What evidence do you have to support this thought? What evidence disproves this thought? Would you say those things to a friend going through a similar situation? What else might be contributing to making you feel this way? Our thoughts aren’t always an accurate representation of what’s happening. Identifying other possible contributors to negative thinking can help you keep the situation in perspective.
- Change it. Once you’ve identified the unproductive thoughts, replace them with more realistic and encouraging words. Finding thoughts that acknowledge your effort, progress, or intention can be powerful in helping you adjust your behavior. Be specific with your new thoughts. The more detailed they are, the more likely you are to believe them.
- Cherish it. Enjoy the moment. Take a moment to be proud of the effort you’re putting into changing your thoughts. Take a deep breath and envision the newly formed positive thoughts taking hold in your life. Visualizing the benefits of productive thinking can help you take actionable steps to make them a reality.
As with any intentional habit change, the more you practice the 5 Cs, the more likely you’ll be able to implement them. Although you might get stuck, or even forget to practice talking back to your unproductive thinking, there will always be another opportunity. Don’t beat yourself up. After all, that’s exactly what you’re working to change! Best of luck in adopting this method, and congrats on taking the first step to controlling your self-talk.
To learn more about optimizing your self-talk, check out HPRC’s worksheet Optimize your self-talk for peak performance.
