Military family traditions in action

By: Alaina Hansom, CHAMP staff*

When people think of family traditions, they often think about the holidays. They might recall lighting candles during Kwanzaa or the matching pajamas their loved ones wear on Christmas morning. Or they remember their grandmother’s roast turkey each Thanksgiving and the matzo ball soup shared at the family table at Passover.

Family traditions can be carried out year-round too, including family dinners or annual reunions. In our home, my husband and I watch the sunset together every night, pending his work schedule. Each December, we also compile photos from our adventures and memories to use in a photo calendar printed for the upcoming year. We use the calendar to reminisce about the previous year while looking forward to the months ahead.

Military families are in an interesting position to create and support family traditions. Military families move often, and rarely are those duty stations near other family members. After living on both coasts, my husband’s current duty station is the closest he’s ever been to family—about 230 miles away. This makes spending some holidays together possible, but not convenient for daily (or weekly) events. So my husband and I created our own family traditions. For example, at this most recent duty station, we started the tradition of hosting an annual croquet brunch to kick off summer.

 Service-related family traditions 

After reflecting on conversations with numerous military families over the years, I compiled a list of common military family traditions. As you’ll see, some are unique to military life, while others are ways military families have adapted more conventional family traditions to fit their lifestyle.

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  Celebrate the return home. Homecoming is a joyous time. It’s an opportunity for that first embrace following deployment. Many military families create “Welcome Home” signs for their returning Service Member. To remember the emotional reunion, other military families dress up and hire a photographer (or ask a friend from another unit) to take pictures.
• Cook their favorite foods. Nothing says “home” like a home-cooked meal. Many military families plan to cook their Service Member’s favorite meal when they return from deployment. If you have kids, this is a great opportunity to get them involved in the kitchen, say “I love you” with food, and make the returning Service Member’s first family meal together feel extra special.
• Attend the military ball. Each service branch hosts an annual formal ball. It’s an opportunity to bring the community together to celebrate Service Members and have some fun! Military balls often begin with honored military traditions, including speeches, a flag procession, and an empty table to honor fallen Service Members. After the ceremonies, there’s dinner and dancing.

 PCS-related family traditions 

Moving to a new duty station can make military families feel uprooted and possibly out of place. Get creative and brainstorm new traditions to stay close.

• Make a bucket list. To help make the new destination feel like “home,” some families create a bucket list of activities to complete. This is a great opportunity to get to know your new “home” and make the move feel exciting, especially for children. Military parents might also choose to document their completed bucket list items with a Polaroid camera—for some, it’s a nod to their own childhoods while introducing their kids to nostalgic items.
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  “Picnic” on the floor. Household goods can take weeks or months to show up. Unless you prioritize grocery shopping upon arrival, you’ll likely end up with snacks from your road trip. Many military families follow the fun tradition of ordering takeout and “picnicking” on the floor until their household goods arrive. Even during your PCS, though, try to maintain healthy eating habits 80% of the time.
• Have a family check-in. Once things have settled, check in to see how everyone is feeling about their new digs. Check-ins enable family members to open up to how they’re feeling in a nonjudgmental space, which can lead to better understanding each other, feeling supported, and improving their overall relational health. If your loved ones don’t have an easy time sharing their feelings, try asking each member to bring a song, painting, or color to the family meeting to help them explain how they feel.

 Other military family traditions 

There are even more ways to strengthen family bonds with new traditions.

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  Go camping. Many families like to spend time outdoors and disconnect from the stress of military life. Spending time outside has a lot of benefits, including building resilience and improved thinking abilities. Camping—even while PCSing—is fun for all family members, including pets! Many campsites are also free for military families.
• Grow your gratitude. Expressing gratitude can improve your relationships, build character, and boost your happiness. Many military families foster a strong sense of gratitude by completing a family gratitude activity or sharing what they feel grateful for at the dinner table. Gratitude isn’t just reserved for Thanksgiving—many military families express gratitude daily. It’s no wonder they’re considered particularly resilient!

What are your family traditions? Or do you want to start a new tradition for your military family? Leave a comment below!

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Disclosure: The opinions and assertions expressed herein are those of the authors and do not reflect the official policy or position of USU or DoD. The contents of this publication are the sole responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, or policies of The Henry M. Jackson Foundation for the Advancement of Military Medicine, Inc. Mention of trade names, commercial products, or organizations does not imply endorsement by the U.S. Government. The authors have no financial interests or relationships to disclose.