By: Nathan Smith, former CHAMP intern
In the Spring of 2021 (my junior year in college), I was anxious to get back on campus and try to build face-to-face connections with people for the first time in more than a year. It was my first time as a Resident Assistant, and I was going to lead and care for a group of 18- to 22-year-old students for 2 semesters. This was one of my first leadership opportunities. I’m sure many new military leaders can relate to the challenges of working with this age group.
Unfortunately, the first major challenge I faced was one many leaders in the military know all too well. The community was struck by the tragic death of one of our residents during the first week of classes. It was an incredibly trying time, and I quickly realized that this wasn’t something I could process and work through on my own. I turned to the resources that my university provided. However, I also found a number of resources on HPRC’s website to help not only myself, but the others I cared for to manage and grow from this adversity.
Using my stress for good
I was stressed and worried: Worried about my residents and their reactions to the death, worried about how I was processing the death, and worried about the rest of the year. This stress began to manifest itself in a variety of ways, which included me trying to escape or push away the stress. I needed to find healthier ways to release and manage my stress.
I discovered that good stress gave my body and brain the resources I needed to help me grow. I was stressed because I cared! The best thing for me was to channel that stress to support and help my residents deal with their stressors.
I knew that stress could help, but it was more difficult to put into practice. So I used HPRC’s stress mindset worksheet to show my residents how their stress-response system can help them grow from past adversities, push through to perform in school, and support each other.
Growing through adversity
I also dealt with a lot of guilty feelings after this event. I hadn’t experienced any physical trauma to myself or a family member, and this was a resident I had only met a couple of weeks ago. I wasn’t a Service Member who had seen and experienced untold traumas, but I was still worried about how hard this event impacted me. HPRC’s article on post-traumatic stress and growth helped me realize that my struggles were normal. I know that working through traumatic events is a journey that isn’t a quick fix, and it’s something that I’ll work on every day. I also experienced some post-traumatic growth, which helped me have a greater appreciation for life and form stronger relationships with my residents, as well as lead them through a difficult time.
I’ll be forever grateful for the people who helped me through this difficult time. But I’m also grateful for the HPRC resources that helped me to learn more about myself and become a better leader.
* The opinions and assertions expressed herein are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of USU or DoD. The contents of this publication are the sole responsibility of the author and do not reflect the views, opinions, or policies of The Henry M. Jackson Foundation for the Advancement of Military Medicine, Inc. Mention of trade names, commercial products, or organizations does not imply endorsement by the U.S. Government. The author has no financial interests or relationships to disclose.
