Don’t QUIT! Change your stress mindset to improve your motivation, resilience, and performance optimization

October 04, 2021


 
By: Megan Hawthorne, military family member and cheerleading coach

After reviewing HPRC’s survey on stress mindset, I reflected on my own past experiences, especially as an athlete. I immediately identified my time as a professional cheerleader. During my time in Houston, I was evaluating and coping with my stress using a threat mindset. Trepidation had served as my biggest demon, and any small stressor became debilitating.  

Rethink QUIT

Quit was a word I had become much too familiar with in the spring of 2018. In August 2017, I would’ve confidently said that I’m not a “quitter”—or someone who lets stress get to them—until I quit one thing, and then another, and then another. I had turned into a serial quitter. When did the spiral begin? How did my stress get so out of control? When I was an adolescent, I would’ve been described as resilient, diligent, and hard-working.

The first official “quit” seemed as if it would’ve been the hardest, but that’s because I had nothing to compare it to. I was an NFL cheerleader for the Houston Texans for 2 years, going on 3. My experience was amazing. I won Rookie of the Year my first season and served as a line captain my veteran year. Deciding to go for year 3 seemed obvious. But going through a professional tryout isn’t easy. The Texans have the most participants out of the 26 NFL cheerleading teams that show up the day of tryouts—prepared, glamorous, and confident (whether the confidence was real or masked—nonetheless, it felt intimidating). I felt extremely lucky to have made it back for the 3rd year. I was one of 3 veterans—which tells you the reality of turnaround in that biz. I appreciated many things about cheerleading, but the most rewarding part for me was the performance—the dancing, my first true love!

One quit was hard, but quit #2, #3, and #4 were just around the corner. They happened quickly, one quit right after the other. While I was on the squad, I was also teaching middle school math full time in Houston. It was the most challenging, amazing, life­-changing job. I learned so much about patience, grace, and empathy. I am forever thankful for those kiddos and the many lessons they taught me as a new educator. Post-Texans, I was itching to stay busy. Being passionate about fitness, I began teaching indoor-cycling classes and Pilates classes. I fell in love with the atmosphere of boutique fitness. The community became the first sense of “home” my husband and I felt in in Houston. But soon after we had unpacked our last box in our new one-bedroom apartment, I quit it all. Four jobs, hundreds of good-bye hugs, and lots of tears.

Reflecting on the downward spiral of 2018, I was informally introduced to the idea of stress appraisal. How I was handling stress at the time was unhealthy, paralyzing, and ultimately led to extreme burnout—not just with cheerleading. I was experiencing the emotional and physical burdens that stress can bring, such as poor sleep, high anxiety, and low performance.

Luckily, I was aware of what a challenge mindset looked and felt like—I was eager to get back to that state of mind. Many of the resources and interventions discussed in HPRC’s stress mindset survey helped me on my journey back to a healthy stress-appraisal process. Journaling, reflection, hearing and reading stories, awareness, and education were all part of my mindset shift.

I wanted to shift my mindset from threat to challenge. I worked to reconstruct any previously determined “threat” thoughts into “challenge” thoughts. I decided to recreate what “QUIT” meant to me.  

Q – Turning Quiet time into Quality time

Threat mindset: I have always been a busy bee. I wasn’t satisfied unless I was doing something 25 hours of the day. Since I graduated college, I never had just one job. I went from 2 jobs, to 3, to 4, back to 3, and then zero. I was scared of the silence, of sitting still, and of not accomplishing something great. I felt resentment when I did offer my precious free time to others—I was always thinking of what I could check off my list.

Challenge mindset: What I didn’t realize was that my heart was craving quality time. It was craving for me to be a better wife, a better friend, a better follower of Christ.

U – Turning Useless me into “Use me”

Threat mindset: The feeling of being useless is chained to defeat. Quitting often feels like losing. The two are frequently interchangeable. In some cases, quitting is looked at as a coward’s alternative to losing. During this stage in my life, I felt defeated, and I took on the blame and burden for that defeat. I felt far from my purpose. Being UseLESS—having no use, no purpose, no legacy—terrifies me.

Challenge mindset: I refocused my prayer on my purpose for tomorrow: “God, use me tomorrow. Give me purpose tomorrow. Let me radiate your joy and grace tomorrow. Whatever surrounds me tomorrow, let it be purposeful to me, and let me be purposeful to it.”

I – Turning Inadequate into Identity-driven

Threat mindset: The simple question is, “What if I fail?” What if the result is unsatisfying? What if people ridicule my dreams? Feeling insecure is rooted in our surroundings.

Challenge mindset: This is an easy shift—“What if I succeed?” You feel a lot of pressure to appear as though you have a plan for your life. Where are you going to live next? What’s your next career choice? Are you sure you’re ready for that next step? Set a foundation for yourself. Ask “Who do I want to be in this life?” instead of “What should I be doing for a living?”

T – Turning Trepidation into Trust

Threat mindset: The anxiety I was experiencing was hard to explain to other people. It just caused more anxiety. I had an overwhelming need to solve, plan, prepare, and structure whatever was in front of me. I wanted full control of situations that were simply beyond me.

Challenge mindset: Once you have a foundation, you can begin a new path. Does it really matter which way you go if you feel good about the foundation underneath you? It’s okay to appear lost to others if you know you have found yourself. It’s okay to try a new path if you trust the foundation.

For more information, read HPRC’s article on how mindsets impact performance.

About the Author 

Megan Hawthorne’s uncle and grandfather served in the Army. She is currently a high-school math teacher and varsity cheerleading coach.

* The opinions and assertions expressed herein are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of USU or DoD. The contents of this publication are the sole responsibility of the author and do not reflect the views, opinions, or policies of The Henry M. Jackson Foundation for the Advancement of Military Medicine, Inc. Mention of trade names, commercial products, or organizations does not imply endorsement by the U.S. Government. The author has no financial interests or relationships to disclose.

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