The recent events in Afghanistan have left many Military Service Members and Veterans feeling heartbroken, myself included. Many of us have lost friends to the last 20 years of conflict and have friends whose lives will never be the same due to physical and psychological trauma. For me, I remember the heartbreak of hearing the news of losing Marine Gunnery Sergeant Aaron Kenefick to a firefight in Afghanistan back in 2009. I used to play cards with him when I was stationed in Qatar. The events of mid-August 2021 brought me a flood of memories from my time overseas and personal connections with so many people with whom I served, as I am sure it did for others.
The sacrifices we have made—and continue to make—to support and defend the constitution of the United States can be difficult when events like this affect us. So how can we get through these difficult times? One saying that has always stuck with me is, “You can’t always choose what happens to you, but you can always choose how you react to it.” This mental fitness technique in combination with my spiritual fitness gives me the resiliency to get through difficult times. The holistic approach to health builds the resilience and grit of the Military Service Member, in my case, the Soldier.
One core attribute of spirituality, which ties with the other two (discussed below), is the pursuit of meaning, purpose, and values. So where do you derive your meaning, purpose, and values from?
For me, I derive meaning, purpose, and values from my personal connection to a higher power, which is the second core attribute of spirituality, also referred to as “vertical spirituality.” This enables me to maintain my meaning, purpose, and values no matter what situation I find myself in. In 2020, I was thrown the curve ball of dealing with COVID while on active duty at U.S. Special Operations Command. Then a few months later, I had another curve ball when my father suffered a stroke. A few weeks after that, I found out the Army had selected me for promotion in the Reserves, which I didn’t think was even a remote possibility. Then 3 days later, I found out I had to be at Fort Bragg (coming from Florida) to out-process active duty on the next Monday in order to accept the promotion. Talk about an onslaught of curve balls!
Through tumultuous times like these, I strengthen my personal connection with a higher power by drawing on verses in the Bible like Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” I walk by faith without fear through reflecting on 1 Timothy 1:7, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” And I pray. About the big things and the little things. I pray for wisdom, understanding, discernment, and for God to direct my path. These things help me have the strength and resiliency to continue no matter the situation. For others, similar faith-based or spiritual resources might likewise provide inspiration and resilience.
I also draw my meaning, purpose, and values from my connection with others, also referred to as “horizontal spirituality,” which is part of the third core attribute of spirituality—service and sacrifice, or the greater good. This can be my connection with my family, my faith community, my unit, the Army, or our country. I strengthen these connections when I give of myself for the betterment of others. But for me, my connections with others have been difficult recently due to the lack of face-to-face contact during the COVID response, changing units, and coming off active duty. So I continue to rely primarily on my personal connection to a higher power (vertical spirituality) as my source of strength during this time.
As you face difficult situations in your life, you too have the opportunity to reflect on your own sources of meaning, purpose, and values, and then practice gratitude for those sources of resilience. So when events like the heart-breaking scenes from Afghanistan come your way, you have the ability to pause and “choose how to react to it.” Whether your response is vertical spirituality and your connection with a higher power, or horizontal spirituality and your self-sacrifice and connection with others, practicing and strengthening your spiritual fitness can help you get through these difficult experiences.
So where do you derive your meaning, purpose, and values from?
I encourage you to reach out to your chaplain or their staff if you would like to find ways to improve your spiritual fitness, no matter what your spirituality background is. They can coach you on improving your spiritual fitness and help you improve your resilience. Keep in mind chaplains and their staff maintain “privileged communication,” so whatever you talk to them about stays between the two of you.
If you’re looking for other resources to help you navigate difficult times, Military OneSource also has a lot of good information available.
About the Author
Howard Crosby Jr. of the Henry M. Jackson Foundation is the
Spiritual Program Coordinator for the Consortium for Health and Military
Performance (CHAMP) at the Uniformed Services University of the Health
Sciences. He is a Religious Affairs NCO with the rank of Sergeant Major in the
United States Army Reserves at U.S. Army North.Disclosure: *The opinions and assertions expressed herein are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of USU or DoD. The contents of this publication are the sole responsibility of the author and do not reflect the views, opinions, or policies of The Henry M. Jackson Foundation for the Advancement of Military Medicine, Inc. Mention of trade names, commercial products, or organizations does not imply endorsement by the U.S. Government. The author has no financial interests or relationships to disclose.
