Thinking back to when I was a child, I realize that my parents celebrated both my successes and failures. And they framed my failures as learning opportunities: opportunities to learn responsibility, accountability, leadership, ethics, and role modeling for my younger sisters and peers. These learning opportunities prepared me for adulthood.But for adults, it’s more complex to see failures as learning opportunities. Adults often see the failure of others as incompetence, especially when in a leadership position. With their own failures, they tend to place blame on something external—such as another person, the context, or unclear directions—to avoid feeling uncomfortable or being viewed as incompetent.
Service Members, especially when stepping into a leadership role, should celebrate opportunities to learn from both successes and failures. But to actually learn from those events, you must:
- First notice the successful or failed event.
- Then process the successful or failed event.
Think of a successful experience you’ve had as a leader. Now ask yourself the following questions:
- How did I contribute to the success of this event?
- What other approaches could I have taken?
- What might have happened if I’d taken another approach? Could the outcome have been even better? Or worse?
- What can I learn from this successful event?
- How can I apply what I’ve learned to future events?
- How did I contribute to the failure of this event? (For most humans, the first instinct is to blame others for failures. But try to focus on how you were involved.)
- What could I have done different?
- What might’ve happened if I’d done something different? Could the outcome have been better or worse?
- What can I learn from this failed event?
- How can I apply that knowledge in the future?
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