By: Stuart Harris, military family member
The human experience isn’t always a bed of roses. Life can be tough, and it’s easy to get caught up in negativity and spiral into despair. But positive psychology concepts such as gratitude and resilience can help us overcome the challenges and lead a fulfilling life.
What are gratitude and resilience?
Gratitude is the act of being thankful for what we have. It’s about focusing on the positives rather than the negatives, no matter how small they may be. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can improve our mental and physical health, increase our happiness and life satisfaction, and enhance our relationships with others.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. It’s the capacity to withstand stress, overcome challenges, and adapt to change. People who are resilient are better able to handle setbacks and come out stronger on the other side. They have a more positive outlook on life, are more satisfied with their lives, and experience less anxiety and depression.
How gratitude and resilience saved my life
I learned years ago from a speech that coach Jim Valvano, founder of the Jimmy V Foundation for cancer research, gave at the 1993 ESPY awards. He talked about how to be grateful for the time you have. He said 3 things you should do every day are to laugh, think, and have your emotions moved to tears. He said you should also think about where you come from, where you are, and where you want to be. “You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.”
I applied this in my own life when in 2018, I was diagnosed with multiple liver disorders and was in and out of hospitals. By March 2022, I was given 2 weeks to live. I was in my hospital bed, and I remember thinking of all the people who were taking care of me and how grateful I was to have them. I thought of my wife, who was with me every night in the hospital. I then heard my son say, when he heard my prognosis, “They don’t know my dad.” This gave me the best boost and made me want to fight no matter what I faced. The doctors said they had never seen a turnaround like mine. I owe this to my gratitude and positive self-talk for getting me through.
So how can we cultivate gratitude and resilience in our lives? Here are a few tips:
- Keep a gratitude calendar or journal. Every day, write down 3 things you’re grateful for. Write down 3 things that moved you. They can be as simple as a good cup of coffee or a warm hug.
- Practice mindfulness. Take a few moments each day to focus on your breath and observe your thoughts, without judgment. This can help you develop a more positive mindset and reduce stress.
- Reframe negative experiences. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, look for the silver lining. What have you learned from the experience? How can you grow from it?
- Build a support network. Surround yourself with people who’ve “got your six”! They uplift you and support you through tough times. Lean on them when you need help and be there for them when they need you.
- Take care of yourself. Prioritize Total Force Fitness self-care activities such as exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep. When you take care of yourself, you have more energy and resilience to handle life's challenges.
Cultivating gratitude and resilience can help you lead a more fulfilling life. By focusing on the positives, bouncing back from setbacks, and taking care of yourself, you can develop the tools to overcome life's challenges and live full of joy, meaning, and purpose.
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The opinions and assertions expressed herein are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of USU or DoD. The contents of this publication are the sole responsibility of the author and do not reflect the views, opinions, or policies of The Henry M. Jackson Foundation for the Advancement of Military Medicine, Inc. Mention of trade names, commercial products, or organizations does not imply endorsement by the U.S. Government. The author has no financial interests or relationships to disclose.
