By: Ben King, Mindful Memorial Day
As a kid, Memorial Day meant no school for
me on Monday. In college, it meant no class. And as an adult, it meant no work
and good BBQ. Basically, Memorial Day was a 3-day weekend that meant freedom to
do what I wanted instead of my normal responsibilities. You might think these
opening lines are setting you up for how Memorial Day should be about honoring
fallen Military Service Members. Or we owe them a debt of gratitude, and
spending Memorial Day at a BBQ is sacrilege. Rest assured, that’s not where I’m
taking this article. My reasoning for pointing out how I used to feel about
Memorial Day is to show that while my ideas have changed, my feelings about freedom
haven’t. Allow me to explain.
In 2014, I helped create Mindful Memorial
Day at Arlington National Cemetery. To honor our fallen, volunteers gave away nearly
7,000 ribbons inscribed with the names of every post-9/11 fallen warrior during
an exchange called “a mindful moment of gratitude.”
Thousands of mindful moments of gratitude
later, including those at the gravesites of warriors, I’ve come to understand
that feeling of freedom in the most sacred ways. And you know what? The feeling
of joy from being with friends and family is similar to the feeling of honoring
the fallen with gratitude.
I’ve noticed the following feelings from both
honoring the fallen and being with family and friends on Memorial Day. The
first feeling is a quiet mind. For someone who knows what hypervigilance feels
like from countless nights on some corner in Baghdad, Iraq, to feel a quiet
mind is truly peaceful. The second thing I feel is a swelling of warmth in my
heart space. It’s similar to getting into a warm shower or bath—only from the
inside. A heat—small, but powerful—swells in my chest. The culmination of a
quiet mind and a warm heart feels light. If you’ve ever been on a long ruck
march, then you know what I mean. That feeling the moment you drop your pack, and
you instantly feel lighter on your feet: That’s how I felt honoring the fallen
and being with friends and family I love.
That feeling of freedom is a feeling of my
best self.
What I understand now is that’s the feeling
our fallen died for: That was their gift. If the fallen could speak to us or
acknowledge our behavior, I doubt they would mind whether we celebrate Memorial
Day with a BBQ or at Arlington. To know that Americans still have the freedoms our
fallen fought for is enough.
To honor the fallen, even for just one
mindful moment of gratitude, helps recognize and spark that feeling of freedom.
I know I don’t just honor the fallen for them: I honor the fallen for me. That
sacred moment reminds me the feeling of freedom is alive and well inside my
heart.
This Memorial Day—whether you’re with us at
Arlington, attending an awesome BBQ, or doing something else—I encourage you to
take a moment and be completely mindful of your gratitude for the service and
sacrifice of our fallen warriors. Their legacy is your warm heart, smile,
laughter, and joy. Your best is the feeling of freedom they died for.
In the meanwhile, visit HPRC’s Performance
Psychology section to learn more about mindfulness
in military environments and mindfully
remembering fallen Warfighters.
