"Change your mindset, and you will change your life." One area where this concept is incredibly true is in the way people deal with stress. The way you view stress can have a profound impact on how you operate during the countless stressful situations you deal with in life.
One example that exemplifies how someone’s stress mindset changed his life—and his family’s life—is my father. When I was about to enter 1st grade, life seemed perfect for my family. I was surrounded by my 3 siblings, parents, and a dog. My father went to work every day and came home every night to a modest house in the suburbs to see his kids playing in the driveway. But this all changed that summer when my father admitted he had a compulsive gambling problem, he was in debt to multiple people, and he’d been fired. We had to sell our house and move in with my mom’s parents.
My dad realized he couldn’t change the past or the stress his previous decisions had created. But he also soon recognized that the stress enhanced his ability to focus on tasks and his desire to succeed. Had his mindset been “stress is debilitating,” he wouldn’t have bounced back as he did. He would have been overwhelmed by his failures and not recognized he still had the ability to recover stronger from them.
“The situation definitely lit a fire underneath me,” he shared recently. “When I would come home and see my wife tired after teaching art classes to help the family out, I knew I had to give everything I had, every day.” I asked if he was so overwhelmed by the stress that it felt debilitating. He explained that feeling sorry for himself was not an option and that he needed to focus all his energy on succeeding with the next task, meeting, or interview.
When I recently shared HPRC’s “make stress good for you” article with my father, he said he had never heard of a “stress-is-helpful” mindset. “I just recognized that stress is a part of life and can help me to do everything in my power to be better.” We discussed what the stress mindset is, and he recognized that he absolutely had a “stress-is-helpful” mindset, although he didn’t know it then. He also pointed out the refreshing nature of his life being under his control now. He explained that when he gambled, he would get very stressed about the games and frustrated because he had no control over the outcome. He told me repeatedly that the stress he experienced as a result of the gambling helped him grow and be at his most productive and focused time.
My dad found a new job, moved us out of my grandparents house, and helped all 4 of his kids go to college. He goes to Gamblers Anonymous once a week to help himself and others who are going through it. It has been 220 months since he placed a bet.
To learn more about your stress mindset and find resources to make stress more productive, check out HPRC’s Stress Mindset Self-Check worksheet.
About the Author: Andrew Lasso* is a collegiate soccer coach and a military family member. (*Name changed to protect privacy.)
