Teaching students and leading Soldiers might seem like two completely different worlds, but teachers and military leaders can learn plenty from one another to provide students and Soldiers purpose, motivation, and direction.
I’d like to talk about a different side of the teaching profession—the one that involves positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment. Finding your why and helping your students or Soldiers find theirs can help make the not-so-fun parts of teaching a little less burdensome.
Studies have shown that students (including Soldiers) learn better from leaders they like and trust. How do you build these relationships? Vulnerability, storytelling, and honesty. Your students need to know you’re a regular person.
Kids, especially high schoolers, can spot a fake a mile away. They’ll know if you’re acting like you know more than you do, and chances are they’ll call you out on it. Be yourself. Even if that means you do things your colleagues might see as silly or let your students or Soldiers see you having a rough day. By doing so, you’ll remind them it’s okay to express emotions. Be willing to show some vulnerability. Share stories that help your students or Soldiers feel connected to you.
A few years back, I had a student named Taylor who some might say had a “chip on her shoulder.” She got a reputation for being a “bad” or “rough” student. This just gave me more reasons to care about her. I could sense the pain in her—the “why” behind the attitude. It took a couple weeks of me being honest, real, and loving, but she slowly started to open up. Then one day she shared it all—a story of abandonment and distrust—and it was heartbreaking. Sadly, she suddenly changed schools, but she sent me a message through another student. One part of the text, where she thanked me for listening to her story, brought me to tears. She was in 10th grade, and in all her years of being in school, she had never felt heard by a teacher.
I never would have had the chance to hear Taylor’s story if I hadn't have opened up, shown love and grace, and been willing to listen. Some Soldiers come into the military facing similar struggles, yet they’ve never had a leader they could share with. You can help build motivation, passion, and direction just by listening and learning about them as individuals.
“Engagement” isn’t a new term when it comes to education. Teachers are often told to create engaging lessons. We’re told to make the lessons fun and exciting and to find ways to spark students’ interest. But, what if, instead of just making our lessons engaging, we actually engaged with the students or Soldiers? Little moments, such as showing an interest in the things students like, can help build the foundation for a great relationship. Take 5 minutes and do the silly TikTok dance. Mention to them when you notice a new hairstyle or new shoes. You might be surprised how much that will mean to your students or Soldiers.
Three years ago, I took over the position as the 4th teacher when another teacher left. The students hadn’t experienced much classroom management before I arrived. When I took over, I came in with rules. I had one young lady, Shantel, who didn’t like my rules. During my first week, she cussed me up one side and down the other and walked out of class. She did get sent to the principal’s office, but I requested she not get suspended. Instead, she had to come help me after school.
One day when she was reluctantly helping me rearrange the room, I mentioned something about wrestling. She seemed surprised and asked if I watched WWE. At that moment I knew I had found my “in” with her. We talked about who our favorite wrestlers were and who our least favorites were. Shantel is now a senior and comes to see me every day. In May, I’ll watch her graduate, likely with tears streaming down my face.
Accomplishments are also important for educators—not just your own but those of your students or Soldiers. Take the time to help them figure out their “why.” One way to do this is to use the WOOP system. With WOOP, students or Soldiers outline their Wishes, desired Outcomes, possible Obstacles, and a Plan. I have used this with my high school students and athletes. It works because it breaks tasks into manageable pieces. If a student has a goal of getting all As, but they don’t plan for obstacles, they’re less likely to accomplish that goal. However, when they come up with a plan to deal with the obstacles they might encounter, the obstacles seem less scary.
Last year, I had a student who was very intelligent but who tended to doubt herself. I used a simple WOOP worksheet for her to lay out her wish, desired outcome, possible obstacles, and a plan to deal with those obstacles. Seeing it all on paper and having a plan made her feel more at ease. I was so proud of her when, at the end of the school year, she met her goal. I have also used this method for student athletes who are part of a competitive cheer team. In addition to using the WOOP method individually, we created a team WOOP plan. Tip: I highly suggest having regular check-ins if the WOOP goal is further out than a month. This will help your students or Soldiers stay on track and help you guide them.
I hope you’ve gained some insights into “finding your why” and motivating your students or Soldiers to find theirs. I only have most of my students for one year, but they’re my kids forever. Knowing my why helps me get past the less-than-ideal salary, overpriced medical insurance, mounds of paperwork, standardized testing requirements, and all the other hurdles educators deal with. My students—Taylor, and Shantel, and many others—are my why. The list will continue to get longer every year. And my heart will continue to grow.
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