By: Rebecca Albert, Professional trainer and power lifter
When I was 11 years old, I decided that I wanted to be a Soldier. My family had already endured the fear and the uncertainty of several deployments between my father and 2 of my uncles. I was amazed at their strength, their resilience, and their courage to return to that scary place. I wanted to be strong like them.
A few short months after I turned 18, I stepped foot on Fort Jackson. This opportunity was incredible. Unfortunately, it was cut short due to a childhood medical condition that resurfaced during Basic Combat Training (BCT). I was discharged and sent home immediately.
“I’m useless. I tried to take after so many of my family members and I failed. I’m a failure.”
This idea of failure was ingrained in my mind. I called myself a failure for years. This belief is known as a thinking trap, or a rigid belief formed to help make sense of a painful past event. This has held me back from so many great opportunities. I would start something and quickly quit or back out because I knew that, somehow, I’d prove incompetent and embarrass myself again. This thinking trap followed me for years, until I found solace and strength in the world of powerlifting.
But how?
Once I discovered that this belief held me back, I decided to challenge it. What evidence did I have that I would fail at everything I tried? What evidence did I have that disproved that? The first question was easy. I could’ve listed many things, but all were opportunities I gave up on before I was able to prove anything.
My answer to the second question was difficult at first, but hidden in plain sight. I started powerlifting and never gave up. I sometimes missed lifts, doubted myself, skipped training sessions, fell down, got back up, and fell down again, but I never threw in the towel. I would fall, but I never failed. I found meaning and value in this process. It helped me grow into the person I strived to be from the start: strong, resilient, and courageous.
How to overcome thinking traps and build resilience
When I take mindful steps to identify and overcome my thinking traps, I constantly learn, grow, and become a better version of myself. This framework guides me through that process. It’s a framework you can tailor to help you challenge and overcome any thinking trap that you might have.
The first step is to identify your thinking trap. This is something that might be difficult to think of at any given moment. Once your trap is identified, ask yourself the following questions:
- What evidence do I have that supports this belief? What evidence disproves it?
- Is this belief meaningful? Does it reflect my goals and values?
- Is this belief useful? Will it help me grow?
Use your answers to reflect on how this thinking trap might undermine your productiveness in the situation where that belief comes up (at work, in relationships, at the gym, etc.). Work on how to adjust those thoughts for a more positive outcome. This can be done through:
- Thought countering. Challenge negative thoughts with rational counter-statements.
- Problem solving. Challenge yourself to find a solution rather than give up.
- Changing negatives into positives. Replace “I never do anything right” with “I do many things right.”
Years of lifting weights have taught me a great deal, but it can all be summed up by these words:
“If we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl
I couldn’t change my medical condition or the decision to
discharge me. But I could change my perspective. I could change the path to get
where I wanted to be. I could still serve my country and our Soldiers in a
meaningful way without being enlisted. When I overcame this thinking trap, it
not only helped me grow, it gave me the tools to overcome future traps. I
hope my story will help others in similar situations.
